The 10 Commandments: orders from God to stop killing and stealing. Later, Christ came to broaden Jewish law and teach that all people, even social outcasts and heretics, are to be loved.
But our cruelty to each other never seems to cease. Why can't we remember these timeless, divinely inspired laws for peace?
I think it's because we don't practice enough, and we don't know how to practice. Like lifting weights to get our bodies in shape, we need to train our mind and heart to grow their ability to love, forgive, offer empathy. We need regimens to grow Buddha-Jesus hearts.
In a new article in the Buddhist magazine Shambhala Sun, His Eminence the Sakyong, Jamgön Mipham Rinpoche, head of the Shambhala Buddhist lineage and spiritual director of Shambhala, a global network of meditation and retreat centers, offers insight into how to grow our capacity for loving-kindness. The Sakyong, a Tibetan honorific meaning "earth protector," discusses six contemplations to generate bodhichitta, a Sanskrit term for "awakened heart." Bodhichitta is our aspiration for others — strangers, friends and enemies — to be happy, unbound from the chains of suffering.
These contemplations are rooted in the concept of unbiased equanimity, an objective viewpoint that can enable us to see that all beings, the naughty and the nice, are worthy of our compassion.
"Equanimity is a spacious, vast, and even state of mind; it does not take sides," says the Sakyong. "It's not about being untouched by the world, but letting go of fixed ideas. How else are we to develop compassion and loving-kindness for everyone and everything? Equanimity levels the playing field — we are not excluding anyone from our practice."
In his article, the Sakyong recommends pondering bodhichitta practices in a peaceful state, for example, in meditation. Once we've achieved a certain sense of stillness, the Sakyong advises to try to "conjure up an intention," for example: "Today I will try to be kind to others."
If you don't meditate, you might set aside a few quiet moments to begin contemplating these methods for generating love and compassion. Make an intention, out loud or quietly, to resolve to grow your ability to spread happiness and relieve suffering.
Then think over these possibilities:
First, consider everyone your mother.
This is really wide-open equanimity! If you believe in reincarnation, it's entirely possible that the inconsiderate neighbor who carelessly power-blows snow onto your driveway may once have been your mother (and your source of nurturing) in a past life. Could you deny a caring mother understanding and compassion? If you don't believe in rebirth, consider the impermanent, shifting nature of your relationships, advises the Sakyong. A good friend may one day be an enemy, and vice versa. Anything is possible in a world where the only constant is change. Such an outlook supports equanimity by reducing "our attachment to relative notions of good and bad," the Sakyong notes.
Think of the kindness of others.
If you can see that all may have been our mothers, then it follows that they've been good to us at some point, notes the Sakyong, who adds that even the difficult people in our lives may have done some small kindness, "maybe just by passing the salt." This contemplation helps us to "see the positive aspects of any situation," notes the Sakyong. "Trying to see things in a more positive light by thinking of the kindness of others churns up our mind and lets the bodhichitta come out."
As a non-Buddhist, one who can't get his mind around the concept of human rebirth, I can generate a soft spot in my heart for others by pondering what I believe is everyone's innate need to be kind — even if it's just for the social approval that it brings. Sometimes I'll imagine a person I find "difficult" performing a charity.
Repay the kindness of others.
From Mahayana Buddhism, this contemplation is called the "great activity," explains the Sakyong. "If we have the view that those who have helped us include everyone — that even animals have helped care for us in some previous lifetime — every encounter becomes an opportunity for us to practice repaying their kindness."
Again, for non-believers, it might be helpful to contemplate that even the difficult people we meet (in this life) deserve our kindness and thanks. Eh? Gratitude for grief? Not exactly. In our negative interactions with them, they inspire us to overcome our surface reactions and, instead, reach down deep to summon up compassion and understanding. They put our faith to the test, and for that they deserve a kindness.
Focus on their delightful side.
A buddy who is habitually late but is a delightful conversationalist and great listener is worth keeping. This same line of reasoning works for drumming up compassion. Rather than zeroing in on "the shortcomings of others, we see their good qualities and generate loving-kindness toward them," says the Sakyong.
Feel others' anguish.
True compassion is the desire that all be free of suffering. According to the Sakyong, "Compassion is empathy based on understanding what suffering is. Not only do we see the suffering of others, but we also feel it directly."
When I can call to mind my own emotional or physical pain, as well as my desire to be free of it, my compassion for others becomes more genuine.
Stay committed to loving-kindness.
It might be tough out in the real world, but it's the best laboratory for practicing our intentions. Says the Sakyong: "We will be kind and compassionate and we will take delight in all beings, with the knowledge that they have helped us. Even if we are the only person in the entire world practicing in this way, we will not stop doing it."
In this season of giving, I think I'll write down the Sakyong's Buddhist contemplations on nice, weighty paper and include them in my Christmas cards. I'll do it in honor of baby Jesus, a God-child who was destined to go to the cross trying to get us to practice loving-kindness.
